9 Ways to Argue the Healthy Way With Your Partner, According to Science

9 Ways to Argue the Healthy Way With Your Partner, According to Science Contrary to popular belief, having disagreements is inevitable and even healthy in relationships. After all, a couple that agrees on everything is a couple that, therefore, mustnt challenge one another. Conflict suggests interdependency and change and, as such, growth.But theres a difference between couples that argue in a toxic way and couples that argue in a constructive way and the latter, of course, is preferable.Here are nine habits of who can communicate consciously in conflict, according to psychology.1. They make the time to communicate in person.A study from Brigham Young University suggests that couples who argue and apologize over text arent nearly as happy in their relationships as those that communicate in person. In fact, a wealth of research also supports that in-person communication is key, as physical touch can build trust and nonverbal communication that can only be exchanged in person also hel ps partners to empathize with and mirror one anothers feelings.2. They meditate on their emotions.According to a growing body of research, meditation is an important form of self-control and a healthy practice, as it augments focus and attention and could be used to enhance empathy and all attentional capacities. Of course, being able to control your emotions and stay present and attentive during a difficult conversation with a partner through meditation practice will help the conversation move in a mora constructive direction.3. They think before they speak.Partners who think before they speak have an easier time articulating their feelings and expressing their concerns. Rather than blurting out their thoughts in a jumbled and overwhelming way, theyre able to clearly explain why theyre feeling the way they are, and how those feelings are impacting their overall wellbeing. Of course, this kind of effective communication helps the other partner to understand and empathize.4. They d ont place blame.They say i instead of you. In other words, instead of saying You make me feel inadequate in this relationship, they say, I feel inadequate in this relationship, and they take ownership and accountability for their own feelings. When they present their feelings in this way, instead of placing blame, its easier for their partners to see their concerns because theyre not blinded by defensiveness.5. They practice active listening.Active listening refers to mindfully, attentively hearing and truly attempting to comprehend the meaningof the words spoken by their partner. Instead of just listening to what they say and taking it at face value, active listening means paying closer, they practice active listening by paying closer, deeper attention to the root of their partners concerns so that they can address them more directly. This also helps their partner to feel heard and understood, which, of course, helps the conversation go smoother.6. They mirror each others body lang uage.A ton of research suggests that mirroring others body language helps to establish rapport. Mirroring refers to the social phenomenon in which a partner mimics the others posture, gestures and words. Of course, mirroring their partners words helps their partner to feel heard. But by mirror their partners body language, they can actually get a better sense of how their partner is really feeling. Thats because psychological research tells us that adopting another persons body language helps us to understand their experience from their perspective.7. They reflect on toxic patterns.Partners who have constructive conversations are able to reflect on toxic patterns they can recognize and admit to the repeated issues in their relationship. This recognition helps them to trace and tackle why ansicht issues keep coming up and, ideally, correct these toxic patterns.8. Theyre present but think ahead rather than dwell on the past.Rather than dwelling on their past, couples who have healthy dialogue surrounding any conflict will look to their future. Instead of asking each other, Why did you do this? theyll ask each other, What can we do so that this doesnt happen again in our future together? After all, they know that the cost of rumination is a painful one. Research suggests that when youre constantly over-thinking the past in your own head seeking answers youre not actually pursuing goals, nothing is happening and youre, ultimately, stuck.9. They dont hold grudges.Holding grudges get nobody anywhere. While many couples may find themselves bringing up past issues in current arguments, mature couples will stick to the present. If theyve forgiven incidents in the past, they wont bring those incidents up again whats in the past is in the past. Besides, they understand that the emotional toll of holding-gesellschaft a grudge can actually manifest physically and that only exacerbates their situation.--AnnaMarie Houlis is a feminist, a freelance journalist and an adven ture aficionado with an affinity for impulsive solo travel. She spends her days writing about womens empowerment from around the world. You can follow her work on her blog, HerReport.org, and follow her journeys on Instagram her_report,Twitterherreportand Facebook.